rising up

I’m not sure if you’re like this, but I’m the kind of person that loves a challenge. I can be discouraged and feeling like things aren’t going to work out, but as soon as someone else voices those same thoughts about a situation… all of the sudden determination rises up with in me that things can and will turn around. I hate to say it, but I do well with a little opposition. When someone says it “can’t” be done, in my mind I typically think… “Yeah right, just watch.” The cool thing is that maybe that’s just what I needed to get my act together. This has happened to me a couple of times in the last few days, and while part of me wishes that everything perfectly lined up, another part of me is glad that it didn’t because it gives me the opportunity to be a part of God showing what He can do when things seem impossible. 
I’m excited for what’s to come.

Going public

I can’t believe how blessed I am to have someone in my life like David. There are so many things about him that I greatly admire and look up to. More than anything, I love his commitment to love and believe in others. I stand back in awe sometimes and think… “God, if only I could be more like that.” He never meets a stranger and doesn’t hold back from bringing Christ into almost every conversation with them. Nearly everyday I get to hear stories about who he has witnessed to or challenged to go further in their walk with God or encouraged to keep running the race with perseverance, and it inspires me to do the same.
 He notices everything. Sometimes it’s a little scary that he can recall a line from a movie he saw once 10 years ago or something that I said in passing that I thought he didn’t hear. I should know better since he has superhuman hearing. 
I love his passion for seeing the church united. I see the call on his life being acted out everyday as he takes on the cares and responsibilities of others. He can’t hear of someone’s need and not be thinking about how he can help or make it better. It makes me consider how differently Christianity would be viewed if all of us lived this way.
When I think about some of the time we have spent together, I wonder why he puts up with me. I’m a typical girl… needy, insecure… I expect him to read my mind and act weird when he doesn’t. Yet, he remains patient and understanding, and even smiles and says, “It’s ok.” 
These are just a glimpse at the great man that I know he is. I know there’s a lot more for me to learn about him, but I’m thankful to have the chance.

His faithfulness

The enduring faithfulness of God overwhelms me. It amazes me that although we are hard-headed at times and are not faithful to Him and what He has called us to do; He still patiently waits for us to get to the point that we realize “Oh, yeah… this isn’t working by me trying to make something happen on my own. God, what do I do?” I’m so grateful that in those moments that we realize our pride, thinking that we can do it on our own, He extends grace and says “Now that I’ve got your attention, here’s what you need to do…” I LOVE that about Him.

I’m there. I am at a point in my life where I’ve realized that there have been several things that I’ve been trying to accomplish in my own strength and knowledge. No wonder I haven’t seemed to be making any significant progress. But now I’m seeking Him, trusting His guidance and expecting the best. 

“Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your love O LORD, supported me.” Psalm 94:17,18

Focused and steadfast

This is what  I’m praying for as we gear up for the fall ministry season. There are many big things coming up in the life of our church and definitely within kids ministry. It can all be a bit overwhelming if we don’t trust in God to direct our steps and bless our work. If I can be really honest, I’ve been very distracted as of late. I’m trying to find balance within myself. I’m praying that God will give me His wisdom in how to manage my time and my thoughts. There is much a head… in all aspects of life… God keep me focused and steadfast to Your will.

stepping out

It’s not always easy to step out in faith the instant that we sense God prompting us to do something, but it’s imperative if we really want to be a person that hears from Him. I find that I hear his voice many times a day… “Tell her, I have a better plan for her”… “Trust me”… “Be generous with that person”… “Change the direction of what you’re doing”… “Wait”… “Tread carefully here”… “Risk it all”… “Share Jesus with him”… “Pray for healing for her”… “Encourage”… “Listen”… “Speak out”… Over and over the Holy Spirit is prompting us to act, yet often times I find myself shaking it off like it’s a thought that comes from myself. The problem with that is eventually the voice will grow so faint we can barely make it out. I want to be the kind of person that hears and quickly obeys the Spirit’s urging, even at the risk of looking foolish to others.

A Name more powerful than cancer

I just received a prayer request for a man with a young family struggling to fight cancer. It seems like every week I hear of someone else who has been diagnosed with this disease, and I HATE that it strikes fear in our hearts. I know that it is a normal reaction, but in the words of the Dean of Students at HILC “To Hell with Cancer!!!!” It’s from Satan and we have authority it the name of Jesus to command it to go back where it came from. The name of Jesus Christ is certainly more powerful and stronger than the name cancer. I believe in healing. I believe that it’s God’s desire that we experience healing on earth with my whole heart and mind. I have no hesitation in praying and believing that God wants us healed, whether it’s from a cold or cancer. I am very thankful for the resurrection power in the name of Jesus Christ; I pray that as the church we choose to believe and trust that name.

search for significance

So, I’m doing this study called the search for significance. The first week it listed several areas that people commonly struggle with and said to mark the ones that you thought might apply to you. I looked at the list and thought…hmm, I don’t think I need to do this study…I think I’m good, I’ve got this stuff down.
Then week 2 hit… It was all about the fear of rejection. Then I began to realize… yeah, I’m screwed up in the head.:) It focused a lot about perfectionism and our need to have achievement after achievement, success after success. That is certainly true of me. Not that that’s wrong, but it stems from a need to cover other faults and inadequacies within myself.
I realize now that I can not handle criticism. I get really defensive and I perceive criticism often when it is not intended.  Also, I place unrealistic expectations on myself. When I feel like I fail at those things, I react in by finding fault in other areas. 
I’m praying that as I complete this study it will help me to deal with this issue in my life now that I can see it.

25 Random Things About Me

1. I rarely wear eyeshadow.
2. When leaving a C of C parking garage one bright spring day after class I called my Dad and told him my battery in my car was dying or something because my interior lights on my dashboard would come on even though my headlighs were on. He told me to call him if I broke down… I left the parking garage and began driving down the road. I stopped a light and pushed my sunglasses up on my head… that’s when I realized…
3. My first real job was at Lens Crafters working in the lab literally making eyeglasses. It lasted about a month. When no one could figure out why all my glasses kept breaking… I threw in the towel, and faced the fact that I was never meant to have a technical job.
4. I lived in Hell Hole Swamp for the first 4 years of my life. Ha!
5. I’m scared of the dark in a big way. I always sleep with a nightlight (or bathroom light) on unless someone is in the room with me. 
6. I once was in a movie… I was going to give the title, but then I thought it sounded kind of sketchy.
7. I cheered in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. We performed live and if you watched VERY closely you could have seen me on TV.
8. I know this could cause a lot of feedback, but I don’t like pets, especially ones that shed.
9. I HATE peas, especially canned! My parents (mainly my Dad) used to force me to eat them until I threw them up all over the kitchen floor. However, I’ve been known to enjoy a bowl of split-pea soup, but I pick them out of vegetable soup or pot pies.
10. I stopped doing homework in the 2nd grade. In the 4th grade I turned in blank sheets of paper for it. 
11. I love walking in freshly cut grass barefoot.
12. My left ear lobe is twice as big as my right.
13. If I don’t like what someone is saying to me, I bite my tounge between the teeth on the left side of my mouth. You can’t tell it by looking at me…however, you might be able to notice that my jaw shifts slightly to the left.
14. I once sat in Darlene Zchech’s dressing room at Hillsong Conference and gave her some stats for a message she was writing.
15. I’m a naturally very shy and easily emabrassed individual. To some of you that’s no suprise, to others you’re like “yeah, right!”
16. Myers Briggs personality- INTJ
17. I defend the under dog, even if I’ve previously criticized them. 
18. I sleep with one arm extended under my pillow…on my side, often with the arch of one foot on the knee of the opposite leg…kind of like a flamingo, but lying down. LOL! 
19. When I’m thinking about something that I’d rather forget, or if I’m really scared, I put my fingers in my ears and say “I love Jesus” over and over again. 
20. My favorite movie growing up was Gone With the Wind.
21. I have 8 nieces and nephews.
22. I wish it were Summer year round…a good 90 degrees and Sunny would be perfect.
23. I can’t handle criticism because of my fear of rejection… however, I can dish it out, probably because I’m trying to deflect attention away from my own faults.
24. If you ask me a question and I want to lie, I’ll say “What?” even though I heard you perfectly clearly.                                                                             
25. I don’t really like coffee even though I drink it occasionally.

Kidspointe- investments that count

What is wrong with me?

Lots of things! Specifically though why is that I’m never satisfied… am I simply a bi-product of the American culture or is it something else? It’s not so much that I’m never satisfied with material things its that I’m never satisfied with where I’m at and what I’m doing. I always want more. Several times in my life people have said to me, “you’re just a dreamer.” 
I’m always ready for the next move for the next challenge or the next big thing. I’ve been warned against living from big event to big event, but I can’t seem to get beyond that. There is nothing about me that is content with doing the same things day after day. I need adventure! I crave it, I get antsy without it. I know God wants us to be faithful with what we’ve been given (and I think I am), a little variety would be nice. Some single friends would be even better. I feel like I’m closed off in the town of Moncks Corner where there are 2 single people in the whole city… me and Keeley.
Not that I’m bitter with the lack of single people in MC cause I want to get married… it’s so not that! I just want some normal single friends who want to hang out and go places and talk about random stuff that single people talk about. 
Is that so much to ask?